Congrats, you said Yes! Now, Your First Steps
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The Wedding Podcast Episode #115 You said Yes, Now what?
Let me be one of the first to say congratulations on getting engaged, what an amazing time in your life!
Now that you are engaged, you’re most likely feeling a bit overwhelmed and you haven’t a clue what to do next.
Well, Carole, my wife and wedding photographer, and I want to share with you a few basic steps that you need to take before you start the actual wedding planning process.
And NO, we don’t want you to book us with this article, in fact, that’s the last thing you should be doing right now.
This will save you a lot of money, time, and energy in the process, so let’s get started!
In today’s article we are going to cover three main things you need to first do:
Listen, you’re going to be bombarded by a lot of vendors if you post something on social media, you’ll get everything under the sun and then some when it comes to them wanting you to book them.
For a period of time, ignore them, you're NOT in a position to book vendors, any of them, that includes us too.
What you need to do instead is set a budget.
Beyond telling your friends and family, showing off your ring on social media, you need to set a wedding budget.
Setting a wedding budget is the most important thing you need to do and it’s literally the first.
Why?
Before you start diving into the wedding dress, choosing a venue, picking colors, and daydreaming about what the day will be like, you need to sit down and be realistic about how much money you will be spending.
Having a wedding budget will also help be your ‘bible’ to how much you should be spending.
So, how do you do it?
Simple.
You have a real conversation about your finances with your soon-to-be and use a wedding budget tool.
We developed one below. You simply plug in the number that you want to spend in total and we help break down a rough estimate that you’ll spend in each major category.
This is a great starting point to get an idea of what you need to spend. It should be noted that these numbers will vary greatly on region and not every vendor type is listed.
Generally speaking, the more you spend on the wedding, the better the quality vendors you can afford. Not only in their professionalism but the experience they bring to.
Although it’s a rough estimate, it should be a good starting point on where you need to start thinking when it comes to the various amounts of vendors you’ll need.
I will also tell you that asking others who they used for various vendors or what they spent doesn’t work and here’s why.
Whats’s affordable to you and your soon-to-be spouse, may or may not be affordable to you. So while it may provide you with a huge range of price points and vendors to choose from, looking to others doesn’t always fit your budget.
The number one cost for your wedding isn’t the wedding venue, it’s going to be your guests. Cocktail hour, dinner, entertainment, wedding cake and alcohol will usually cost you far more than you’re venue.
Once you have that overall number that you want to spend for the wedding, you have a decision to make.
It should be noted that you may have to revisit and adjust the budget a few times once you have things better lined up, so don’t be afraid to have those conversations after the fact.
Keep that number, decrease it, or increase the amount you spend before you lock it in. The main deciding factor will be those on the guest list, the more you have the more it will cost you.
Should you invite more wedding guests?
Should you decrease the number of wedding guests?
Keep the same number of guests?
Let me give you an example that you can easily relate.
Take 100 guests, that’s the most average in the United States when it comes to who will be on the list and it’s a good whole number.
The cocktail hour and dinner service would cost you about $30 per person, then the wedding cake, that’s another $4 per person, and alcohol, let’s say that 75% of them will drink, $15 per person is low, but let’s use that number.
You also have parting gifts, but let’s just use what we have to give you a rough idea.
Add it all up and that’s $49 per person at your wedding day, times 100 wedding guests.
That’s roughly $5,000 when you add in the vendor meals, tips and taxes if they are applicable in your state.
In the example chart above, you can see that shaving 25 people off that same list will save you more than $1,225.
Our point is this, the MORE wedding guests you have, the MORE it will cost you at the wedding. Again, these are just sample numbers, but you get the idea.
So, before you start booking venues and vendors, make sure that you have these two complete, your overall budget that you want to spend, and how many guests you want to have at the wedding.
Once, you figure those two out, the actual wedding planning process will become a lot easier, a lot less stressful and you will be much happier too.
However, there is one more piece that you need to consider first before your wedding planning can begin.
The next thing you want to consider is hiring a wedding planner. You have a few choices in the matter:
Skip having a planner and DIY
Hire one but just for the wedding day
Hire one from the start and let them guide you through the process
Well, let me put it to you like this, would you build a house and skip the architect plans and their design for it?
Well, if you do, then you’re building a house without a guide and it could go over budget, it may not pass local code and it could even fall down.
It’s a risk and that’s a problem.
Weddings are much the same way and a planner is like an architect that helps build everything for you so you have a smooth wedding day.
See, hiring a wedding planner from the start may cost you some money, but most times they will save that money in return plus more. Wedding planners (sometimes called wedding managers) have better ties with vendors and they can bring repeat business to them. In turn, many vendors will offer a small discount as a thank you and that savings is usually passed on to you.
Here is an example.
We work with about 4-5 planners here in Virginia, DC, and North Carolina.
With each one of them, we offer between a 5-10% discount on select wedding photography and film packages.
That’s a savings upwards of $150-$300 just for booking with us, but only through the planner.
Many other small businesses do it as well.
We have some good information about wedding planners, what to ask and what to look for, you can find that on our wedding planner guide page.
Only 27% of couples will hire a wedding planner for the long-haul while 73% of couples will DIY or hire just for the ‘day-of’ the wedding.
Should I just do it myself?
You can and there is nothing stopping you from planning a wedding yourself.
One thing that you’ll find is that planning it yourself is a lot more stressful when it comes to those smaller details and planning the wedding yourself can also take away from your day, getting ready, relaxing with the girls and just having fun.
We recommend that you skip the DIY route if possible.
What about a ‘day-of’ wedding coordinator?
You can certainly use a day-of-the-wedding coordinator, in many ways it helps the flow of the day.
However, if something goes wrong, they’re not to blame, they only help guide the day’s processes based on what you have planned, so the flow of the day still relies on you and what you have in the timeline.
Many times they will help you best navigate the day based on what you have, although ultimately, it’s up to you to decide what happens, when.
It’s also a great way to have someone help out.
Hiring a wedding planner for the long haul?
If you’re going to do it right, hire them from day-one, if possible.
They will be able to work with you on everything from planning out the day, helping you book the vendors, and keeping the stress away from you too.
The other benefit is they work and coordinate with vendors like us for example, better than if the couple did it themselves or hired just the day-of planner.
We can typically tell if the couple had a planner or not based on the timeline, how the day goes, and if everything stays on track. While it costs most of the three options, you’ll find better savings with this approach.
If you do want to chat with a great vendor, consider our sister company, Roanoke Wedding Planner.
Finally, once you have the budget, expanded or trimmed down a rough guest list, and decided on a planner or not, the next step is choosing a venue and a wedding date.
Without a wedding date, you can’t book any other vendor, plain and simple.
There is a whole world of questions to ask, things to consider for each venue and vendor and you can find a lot of what you need on our wedding blog.
Just know that without the venue, you can’t have a date, they go hand-in-hand.
Additionally, no professional vendor in their right mind would book you without a date either, so it’s important to have those two set first.
We have plenty of wedding venue secrets on how to save the most amount of money and some things to consider.
Here is one, have your wedding on the weekday and you’ll save the most money, in fact, through my own research, I was featured in the New York Times recently.
Book a wedding venue during the off-season if you want to save some money. Additionally, booking on an off-peak day, usually Monday through Thursday will also save you the most amount of money, not just the venue, but typically others as well.
The wedding process can be an easy one or a difficult one depending on which routes you take in the process.
One final thing we can tell you about the wedding industry is that it’s emotionally driven, many times clients will book on the ‘feeling’ that a vendor brings to the table.
Many times, it’s going to cost you as higher-end vendors tend to use emotion to make a sale rather than logic.
It’s a sales tactic that the industry has used for generations.
While that's great, just know that at the end of the day, it’s a business transaction, so think about it more like that when you do book a vendor.
If you try to keep emotion out of your decision process, you’ll make much more logical decisions and do a better job at sticking to the overall budget too.
Feel free to connect with us if you have a general wedding question or if you are in the market for both wedding photography and videography, consider us when you start to search for them.