How many wedding guests can you afford to have?
So, I want to have a conversation with you about your wedding and it’s budget.
The TRUTH is that weddings are expensive for most.
Wedding Wire states that nearly 74% of couples getting married go into debt to some degree when getting married and that’s a bit scary to think that the first thing you do when you get hitched is that you have debt.
Well, today, I’d like to share with you the most cost-effective way to save on the wedding, focusing on the wedding guests.
Wedding Guests are the Majority of Your Cost
Guests tend to cost the most, not the venue, that’s a common misconception among couples.
You have food and drinks for a happy-hour, then a dinner service, generally followed by a cake and alcohol for the wedding reception. Those combined are the bulk of your costs.
Appetizers
Dinner service
Wedding cake or cupcakes
Alcohol at the reception
Average Cost of Wedding Guests
If you used or seen the app at the top, then you’ll know that $70 tends to be the average cost most couples pay for these key elements. The more money you have to spend, the more wedding guests you have to invite.
We believe it should be more of a range of $60-$80 per head than a flat number because pricing varies from region to region and depending on what you're having.
The idea is to align them with your guest list. It’s a way to see how feasible it is to afford them.
Now, you can ALWAYS find cheaper prices, this is based on the national average from theKnot.
The target number in the app should somewhat match (or be close) to the number that you wish to invite for the wedding. If they are not close (within 10-15) then you have an issue with not having enough to spend or too many guests on the list.
The REAL Question to Ask is Should I invite Them?
One of the things you need to do when making a guest list is to ask yourself, “Do I REALLY need to have them at the wedding?”
If they are immediate family and you have regular contact with them, most likely the answer is going to be yes.
If they are co-workers, people you sometimes see or hang out with, the answer may not be as clear.
The truth is that picking the right number of wedding guests isn’t as easy as it seems, although most couples just jot down names on a spreadsheet or document.
So let’s create a process that can help address the issue at hand?
The Process of Weeding out Wedding Guests
Weeding out people on both sides of the family or friends list may seem like it’s a horrible thing, but truthfully, if you don’t have a close connection with them, having them at your wedding is only filling a seat, not celebrating the day.
Step 1: Make a List
As usual, make a list of people that you want to invite. Make sure that you think about everyone that comes to mind so we can start the process of elimination. Family both immediate and distant, friends close and not so close, people you know like co-workers and the like too.
Step 2: Ask The Important Question
You may need to lump them in with their spouse or children, but you need to ask the question:
“Are they important enough to invite for the wedding day?”
Yes, that’s a hard question to answer because the truth is that you want everyone to attend, but your pocketbook says otherwise most times.
A few things that I tend to ask myself include:
How often do I see them each month?
If less than once a month, consider skipping them from the guest list.
If more than once a month, go to the next question.
Are they immediate family?
If yes, then invite them. (Mom and Dads, Step-parents, siblings, grandparents)
If they are a secondary family member like cousins, aunts, and uncles, ask yourself how connected you are to them.
If you have a great connection with them, invite them.
If you don’t really have that great connection, consider skipping them.
Are they a close childhood friend?
Were you best friends in school for a good period of time?
If yes, do you see them on a regular basis, like once every couple of months or more?
If yes, invite them, otherwise, you may want to reconsider.
Are they a boss or co-worker?
How important is your outside work relationship with them?
If very important and fairly frequent outside the office, invite them.
Otherwise, reconsider the invite.
Step 3: Make Sure it’s Good for Both Sides
We do want you to sit down and make sure that both of you are on board for the guests that you want to bring to the wedding. While your better half may not know that person, it’s a great idea to talk about who they are, why they are important in your soon-to-be spouse’s life.
What if we want more wedding guests?
That’s a question I run into quite a lot, couples wanting to include more wedding guests.
If you decide to add more guests, you have a couple of options with regards to the cost;
You can try to trim the cost by selecting a less expensive meal. For example, if you are having chicken at the dinner service, you might be able to save a bit by switching to something like pasta for dinner.
You can spend more money on the overall budget. While this is the less financially sound decision between the options, you can opt to spend more money in order to have the guests.
Is there anything we need to consider?
You also need to take into consideration your vendors that will be working the reception, at least for the dinner service.
You’ll also want to let them eat when the wedding party does, that’s so they will have a chance to grab something to eat while you are.
After eating most couples start to make their rounds among the crowd and that’s what the vendors will need to be prepping for the rest of the evening with their jobs too.
They can include:
Wedding Manager or Wedding Planner
Wedding Photographer and/or second shooter
Wedding Videographer or crew
Wedding DJ
Wedding Venue owner/staff
A good rule of thumb is to add roughly 10% to your catering to allow for vendors that will be at the wedding.
If you can specifically add a number that would be better than just adding 10%, however, if you can’t get a firm count, adding 10% should cover all the vendors and still have a few additional for those guests that bring someone.
They too will need to eat something for dinner and take a break in between the ceremony and reception. We suggest that you pad in about 20-25 minutes for dinner.
Finally, you’ll want to consider a couple of things, unwanted guests and guests with children.
Do you want to have children at the wedding?
Some couples do and some don’t. If you do decide to have them at the wedding, we HIGHLY suggest that you have a separate table for the kids with activities for them to do.
Coloring books, LEGO, crafts, perhaps a TV with movies, you’ll want to consider keeping them occupied.
I will tell you, the longer they are occupied, the longer those guests will stay at the reception.
Those Unwanted Guests
When it comes to addressing your invitation envelopes, don’t leave anything to chance.
Be as clear as possible by writing the exact names of the people you’re inviting on your invites’ envelopes. Know that writing “and guest” can be interpreted in different ways by your guests, so it’s best to be super-specific.
Do the extra legwork to find out the names of your guests’ plus-ones (if you’re inviting them) so there’s no need to write “and guest.”
If you’re really concerned about uninvited wedding guests, you might want to write the exact names of those you’re inviting on the RSVP cards, too.
