Last May, we gave you 5 wedding secrets that will help improve the wedding day that doesn’t cost you anything.

Well, today, Carole and I are going to share with you 10 more wedding secrets that even vendors won’t share with you and I promise that you will NOT find them anywhere else on the internet.

If you do find them elsewhere, it’s because they copied them from us.

Secret #1

The truth is that your wedding isn’t unique, in fact, your more likely to mimic things you’ve seen online or in a magazine.

Now, don’t think that’s a bad thing, it’s not.

Vendors typically repeat the process every weekend, so while the flower colors, decor, and music types may be different for example, the arrangements, format, and themes themselves are usually a repeat of what they do.

99.8% of weddings are actually repeats of past weddings, the style, inspiration, and themes have been done before most likely..png

We all have our own styles, methods, and processes, but in general, they are usually a repeat of what’s been done before.

“Brides say they want their wedding to be different—and in the same breath, they also say they want a ‘shabby chic’ or ‘vintage’ wedding with Mason jars, wildflowers, and old barn doors as props. That style is so overdone ”

— Heather Dwight, owner of Calluna Events

If you want to truly be unique, don’t look for inspiration online or in your favorite wedding magazine, because it’s already been done before.

I can only think of perhaps one wedding that was truly unique that I’ve covered over the years and it was more of a celebration of the day than a wedding. That was a board-game-themed wedding and everything was truly unique.

Secret #2

When sending save-the-dates or your wedding invitations, mail them out on a Wednesday if you can.

Mail your save-the-dates on a Wednesday, you'll get them to the guests by the weekend and get results faster most times..png

Most of that mail will be delivered by the weekend where people will be home and in turn, they’re likely to reply or note your date on the calendar faster than if they received it on the week.

In fact, couples usually see a 39% faster rate of return on their wedding invitations when they mail them on a Wednesday.

Secret #3

Keeping your guest longer at the wedding reception can be somewhat a difficult task, however, we do have a couple of secrets worth sharing.

As time goes onward throughout the evening, your guests will start to drop in numbers, usually, after things like the cake cutting or the reception dancing starts.

Well, I will tell you this, guests leave for a couple of reasons

There is nothing to do they enjoy (not everyone enjoys dancing)
They have kids and they are getting cranky
They are older and need to leave to head to bed for the evening

So, the key is to keep people occupied.

Have a kids table with toys, crafts, movies, and snacks. It'll keep them happy and their parents at the reception longer..png

For example, if you have a dedicated space for young ones, like a table with a movie/TV, perhaps toys, games, and fun things to do, they’ll stay occupied longer, keeping mom and dad happier and they’ll stay longer too.

Try finding fun things for adults to do beyond just a DJ and lights, things like a firepit with smores, outdoor games like cornhole, perhaps hiring a magician or fire dancer for entertainment.

Consider other activities for adults than just a music DJ. Chances are it will keep your guests at the reception longer. .png

The point is gone beyond the standard music and dance lights and you’ll suddenly find that guests will have more fun and stay much longer than normal.

Secret #4

If you want better images and even video during your ceremony, make sure that your bridal party stops for 3-5 seconds before they walk down the aisle.

When walking down the aisle, have each wedding party member stop for 3-5 seconds. It'll make for better photos and video. .png

This will ensure that the pros like us can get a couple of great shots of everyone and it also allows you a moment to see and reflect that your day is finally here too.

Most photographers and videographers tend not to tell you this, so make sure that you take that few extra seconds for the best possible images.

Secret #5

Did you know that you can actually write-off some of your wedding vendors and items?

There are a few ways to write-off your wedding vendors or products, like a wedding dress or wedding photographer. .png

Well, you can and today, we’ll give you two examples.

The first is from Brides Against Breast Cancer, they’re a 501c3 organization that helps fund breast cancer research.

Their process is easy, you donate your used wedding dress to them and you’ll get a tax-deductible receipt for your troubles.

In turn, they clean up the dress, do any repairs and resell it. The proceeds are used to help fund breast cancer research and the best part is that you get to write off the wedding dress.

Our second example is our own.

While we run and operate our wedding business, we also have a 501c3 called Blessing Bags.

Part of the proceeds that we get from couples just like you go to help our friend, Phil, a humanitarian aid worker from Virginia.

We supply him with funds in Iraq to help widows, children, and those in need by providing some of the basics that we take for granted.

From food, shoes, kerosene for heating, coats, and hygiene items, we help those in need that truly have little to nothing.

When you make a donation to the program, not only do you get a tax-deductible receipt but you get a credit towards our services in the process.

Make a $3,000 donation and you’ll get our photo/film collection, free, plus you get to write it off in the process on your taxes. Contact us for more details on that program.

Bonus tip: If you’re having a buffet, chances are there will be a LOT of leftover food that you will have to take with you.

Many times local shelters will gladly take your bulk leftovers for the homeless or those in need, just make sure you coordinate ahead of time and ask for a tax-deductible receipt for your taxes.

Secret #6

Our next secret is something wedding planners don’t even tell you, let alone think about much and it has to do with having some alone time.

While you’re getting married, you’re also going to be pulling in a million directions, the photographer and videographer will want you to take a bunch of images.

Your family will want to chat with you, guests will want o talk and give you hugs, the DJ will start playing music during happy hour, the catering company will be ramping up for dinner and the list goes onward.

10-minutes.

You need a good 10-minutes with your newly married spouse to just relax and have time for each other.

Carole and I usually do a good job of giving the couple time either right after a ‘first look or just after the pictures are done, making them head to the bridal suite for a bit.

The idea here is simple, you want to have a few intimate moments with your spouse and enjoy the time together, reflect on what just happened, and have a moment to yourselves.

That’s usually one of the downfalls of most wedding photographers today, they simply don’t think about that, but it’s worth doing so just make sure that you have squeeze in a few minutes for each other.

Secret #7

Keeping track of who has responded to your RSVP can be a challenge so this little secret will help keep things easier.

Simply number the rsvp cards and have a spreadsheet with the number and the names.

Place a number on your RSVP. It'll make it faster to mark off on your spreadsheet and it'll help tallie the guest count faster too..png

That way, as you get cards back, you can mark them off in the spreadsheet and keep tabs on the number of guests coming and those that haven’t replied back to you yet.

Secret #8

One thing I can tell you about getting married is sometimes your mom or soon-to-be mother-in-law may like to take charge where you don’t want them to. However, if you play your cards right, this can be helpful to you.

With overbearing parents, you have a couple of choices in the matter:

You can tell them to bud out of the wedding plans and the wedding day
You can give them ‘busy’ work projects
You can let the wedding planner deal with them for you

Sometimes, the parents will try to control your wedding planning, a good wedding planner should be able to take care of that for you..png

We recommend having the wedding planner deal with them for you if you can.

Planners should have the know-how and understanding to best deal with them for you so you can focus more on the planning aspect of the day with the planner/manager than have your mom relive her own wedding day.

The truth is that wedding trends and styles tend to change every so often, if your mom or future MIL got married 25 years ago, chances are the styles of fashion, wedding workflow, and decor have completely changed.

Truth be told, even what I did as a wedding videographer 22 years ago has changed, all for the better, but as times change, so does the wedding of your dreams and how it comes together.

Secret #9

My next secret is truly something that vendors don’t like to share, in fact, they many times will get mad when I mention it to my couples or those that ask about wedding advice.

There is no wedding industry standard on pricing when it comes to the vendors that you hire.

Sure, there are national averages that are loosely based on the highs and lows of what couples pay, but every vendor’s price is negotiable.

You are able to negotiate with most vendors in the wedding industry. .png

Yes, you’re in control of your own wedding day and with that, the price you want to pay for a vendor.

Now, there are some hard costs, such as the cost of food or in our case camera equipment, venues have mortgages and utilities to pay, but vendors will flex on the price somewhat under a couple of conditions most times.

Let me give you a couple of examples.

Carole and I will offer a reduced price when planners or venues come to us and that’s because they bring us repeated business.

Giving a 5-10% discount on services to them knowing they are going to bring you, several clients, throughout the year is a great way for the couple to save money, so it’s something worth looking into.

The bad part is that it’s not going to be advertised traditionally, so you, the couple needs to be on the lookout for that.

Having a professional wedding planner negotiate to price for you is more likely to result in a discount than you doing it yourself.

The other example is the couple and them trying to widdle down the cost of the service. Instead, we recommend a couple of things to try.

If for example, you have two vendors with similar styles and price points, use the vendor’s contracts to your advantage.

Tell both of them that you have a slightly better price with vendor b, but you’d rather work with them, vendor a. Show them the contract and see if you can either get them to price match or add something into the contract that would benefit you to justify the price.

Chances are of the two, at least one of them will budge in order to get the sale. As most are small businesses, flexing one way or another to be able to secure the client is something that most jump at under the right conditions.

However, I will tell you that getting this done over something like $50 is hard to do, so you need to make sure that it’s worth trying before you do.

Secret #10

Our final secret of the day is this, let the professionals do their jobs and try not to micro-manage them.

If you’re going to tell the wedding photographer that you have a list of shots for the day and then have someone stand over their shoulders with a clipboard marking them off one-by-one, you’re not doing the pro any favors.

I’ve seen it many times in my career and experienced it a few times, brides that want to control every aspect of their day, from the minute the DJ plays a certain song to when the catering company can clean up and the like.

Don't micromanage your wedding vendors. If you do, you'll stress more and the vendors will have a harder time accomplishing their task at hand..png

The truth is that most vendors are going to know what to do when, even if you have a special request in the day somewhere.

Micro-managing only slows down the wedding vendors and it creates more stress on you rather than you just enjoying the day.

While vendors want your input, they don’t need to be handheld to know how to do their jobs.

I remember a few years ago where I was hired to film the wedding in Virginia, when I arrived at the venue, I had a bridesmaid greet me with a long sheet of paper and a list of shots the bride wanted me to get in order.

Well, it doesn’t work like that, sure if you want Aunt Susan in the film, we can definitely capture a moment to get that, but telling me that it has to be the 6th video clip I capture while onsite doesn’t.

I was able to get what she wanted, just not in the order of what she demanded because lots of other things were happening and I wanted to capture those as well in case I needed them for the video.

My point is this, if you have requested, give them to the professional ahead of time, but don’t give us minute-by-minute task lists that we have to do, let us do our jobs and you focus on enjoying the day, trust me, your special requests will get done and you’ll be much happier too.