A wedding secret that hurts, us vendors
In the midst of all your wedding planning, learning how the industry works so you can come up with your dream wedding, there is something that no one is telling you and yet, it’s right in front of our faces.
Today, I’m going to give you some hard truths about your upcoming wedding and ask you a couple of very important questions for both you and your pocketbook.
The Truth is…
You don’t need any of us in order to get married.
Now, a lot of vendors out there may get upset reading this, but the cold hard truth of the matter is that not a single bride, groom or couple out there needs a venue, a photographer, videographer, florist, a dress, a DJ, catering company and an endless list of others that support the wedding industry.
You only need a marriage license and someone to perform the ceremony, a justice of the peace or officiant.
In fact, you can pretty much elope and get married for just a couple hundred bucks or there abouts.
Then Why Have a Wedding?
The wedding industry in the US is a multi-billion with w B-dollar industry, new businesses rise and fall each year as most get burnt out within 3-5 years and there is an endless supply of people ready to take your money in exchange for professional services.
So it begs the question, why have a wedding in the first place?
The simple answer, to celebrate your marriage.
Well, during COVID-19, specifically in 2020 and 2021 something changed the industry and it’s micro-weddings.
COVID forced couples to think about what’s important to them rather than trying to have an over-the-top day that was more for show than celebration of a new couple.
In many ways thats great, focusing on what important rather than trying to top what your friends up the road did at their wedding has become more commonplace and thats great to see.
The downside however, the industry hasn’t really caught up as quickly as times have changed.
So, Here’s a Hard Question for You
Do you need a large over-the-top wedding that cost as much or more than a new car these days?
When you sat down and created a wedding vision in your head, you most likely we’re not thinking about going into debt over having a picture perfect wedding, whatever that is in your head.
20 years ago when I covered weddings, couples spent roughly $15-19k for a grand celebration, today according to Wedding Wire and theKnot, the average cost is closer to $34,000. ($28k plus the rings)
So, do you really need all the expense for the day?
Well, it depends.
Average Wedding Costs
Let Me Give You Some Sound Advice
I want to give you some practical advice on weddings as I’ve seen to more than 569+ weddings in my career ranging from backyard BBQ weddings to lavish $150,000 weddings at the Ritz Carlton.
You and your spouse should sit down and talk in great detail about how big your wedding needs to be and how much you need to spend truthfully, going into debt is not a great way to start the marriage. (Roughly 28% of you will)
With any size wedding beyond an elopement, there are a few things you want to prioritize.
“With that, you SHOULD have a wedding, but make it personal and manageable for your pocketbook and your needs.”
Maybe thats an elopement, maybe a micro-wedding (50 or less guests), a traditional wedding or luxury wedding, it’s what best suits you, not what the “Jones” did just to top it.
My first piece of advice is limit your guest list.
Sure, you want to invite everyone in the planet so they can see you walk down the aisle and be apart of the wedding day, but the largest expense of your wedding is your guests, something I explain in detail on a recent blog.
The more people you invite, the MORE the wedding will cost you.
Having 75 guests compared to having 180 guests is a huge price increase, you get the idea with the tool above.
In the US, the average wedding size before COVID was 128, today that number is roughly 71.
Hire a Planner to Help
Next, no matter how much money you toss at a wedding, not a single one has gone off without something going wrong. Now, that could be something simple like the flower girl dropping flowers at once walking down the aisle to something major like the wedding cake table falling over at the reception.
Listen, Carole and I are in the wedding business, having a timeline and a planner to keep the flow of the day going will make or break your wedding day.
We’ve both seen so many times where a couple skipped out on a planner of any type, even a day-of, and the wedding day was lost in running late to the ceremony to guests not knowing what’s happening at the reception.
Without a planner, the DJ (photographer and videographer) needs to rely on you to keep the eve going and many guests will leave after the cake cutting if not beforehand.
Do you want to direct your own wedding or simply enjoy it?
Hire Based On YOUR Budget, Not What People Charge
Now, a lot of vendors will hate me for this, but truthfully, you need to book vendors that you can afford and not hire them just because of a recommendation.
We sometimes get couples asking for our services and one of the first questions we ask during the Zoom is about them being able to pay for our services.
We’re not expensive at all in some areas like northern Virginia or Richmond, but we are when you compare us to those in Bristol, TN for example. $2,999 (our highest package) is a lot for some couples to swallow, while others its merely a drop in the bucket.
My point is that you should find vendors that match what you can afford and choose the best from that group of companies.
Think of it this way, while it would be nice to have a Porsche, what you really need is a Toyota or Lexus. Both get you to the destination, both can be fun to drive, but one is more affordable.
Your guest won’t care if they truly are there for you and your spouse.
I would rather you not go into debt when choosing a great wedding vendor that is out of budget, us or someone else.
My final piece of wedding advice is to educate yourselves as much as you can about the industry before you navigate it. Our industry is filled with people that are well-seasoned like myself and many more that are trying to break into the wedding business.
Now, thats not a bad thing, there are plenty of great people out there that make (or trying to make) a living.
But, if you can learn the tips and money saving secrets, you can still have that great wedding and put some cash back into your pockets.
From the time or year to the actual day you have the wedding, you can save thousands of dollars if you just arm yourselves with a little bit of knowledge, much of which we talk about on our blog.
Think of it this way, why pay full price when you could still have that dream day wedding just during a different time of year?
Let me give you just 3 of the many examples where you can save money:
Consider having the wedding on a Wednesday instead of a weekend. Believe it or not, having a wedding on a non-traditional day can often times save you money, upwards of 40% on things like the venue for example. Companies need income and are limited to Friday-Sunday weddings, so consider what’s called a non-peak day.
Since guests are your number one expense (when you combine everything) consider having a plated meal instead of buffet style, which typically costs more. Be cautious, however. Since guests are feeding themselves chances are that they’ll eat more than a Plated portion. High-end gourmet food doesn’t pair well with buffets if your goal is to keep your wedding budget in check. (You’ll save a HUGE amount of money here)
Finally, consider a dress shop made dress instead of a chain store. Did you know that nearly 80% of wedding dresses come from China? Well they do, purchasing directly from small dress shops across the United States saves money, plus you’re supporting a local (US) business. Often times you can save 35% or more on a custom dress than buying from a chain like David’s Bridal. Look for many or them on Etsy.
Let us know what you think about todays blog in the comments below, we’d love to hear from you.