The BIGGEST wedding myths, exposed.
Couples get engaged and then start the process of diving into the wedding industry with hopes of being able to navigate their wedding day dreams.
However, there are some common myths that couples think when they start the process and today we’re going to share them, give you the truth about them and help educate you along the way.
Saying “wedding” increases the cost dramatically.
Truthfully, when you compare a wedding to another event, say a bridal shower or family gathering, yes they are more expensive and that’s because weddings are far more complex and a small party or gathering.
There are some reasons for that and let us explain for a moment.
“Weddings are expensive because couples demand quality and with that, comes costs.”
Costs come in the form of time, quality and services performed.
Take wedding photography for example.
Couples only think about the time spent at the wedding day, 8-12 hours for the day. Because they see a photographer working a wedding, in their mind that’s what they are paying for however, that’s not the case.
In fact, it’s just part of the iceberg. There is time before the wedding day prepping which can include cleaning gear (lenses), charging batteries, formatting memory cards, gathering details from the couple and meeting with them to go over what they want.
Then, you have a mountain of post-production after the wedding.
A good wedding photographer will typically spend 2-3 hours editing for every hour onsite. So, in a 10 hour wedding day, add 20-30 hours of post-production time.
Typical Photographer Time for Couple
Compared to a family photographer that will spend an hour taking photos of the family, they will spend 2-3 hours editing and processing. Offering $400 for 3-4 hours of work is a lot different that spending that $3,400 for 42 hours of work.
We haven’t even talked about the professional equipment, taxes, insurance and other pieces that make a vendor more expensive.
The Wedding Day will be Memorable.
Truth be told, the day will fly by. There are so many things happening, many at once during wedding prep, that you will forget much of what happened over time. In fact, one of the drivers of having wedding video for example is that it does a better job of documenting the day with what was said, the reactions on peoples faces and even your loved ones that may not be with you in the future.
Let’s do a small experiment.
Truthfully, if you knew what you had for dinner 18 days ago, you’re some sort of super genius. Most of us tend to forget even important days in our lives like birthdays, weddings and other fun events.
While you will have a fun day, it will fly by so fast for you and your new-found spouse. Having photos and video are great at capturing those elements of the day and to some it’s worth more than others to have.
According to Learning Solutions, you tend to forget roughly 70% of new information after 24 hours and within a week, 90% of it so having professionals capture you wedding day is important.
I'll just hire my friend to do it.
Ah, yes the close friend that dabbles in whatever you’re looking for at your wedding. Maybe its flowers, being a DJ or catering, many times couples will try to save some cash and hire a friend to help with the wedding day.
Just don’t do it and here’s why.
Friends, close friends, may charge you a bit less, but they’re also going to be focused on everything else going around them and not their own jobs.
I remember filming a wedding about 15-ish year ago and the couple hired their friend to take wedding photos instead of hiring a professional. Well, not only did they stop taking pictures and dance and drink the night away with all their friends, the images their friend took were not professional because she used a cheap camera.
I remember the bride being upset and calling the office to ask if I had taken any images, we’ll I didn’t because I was there to capture professional video.
It may feel right to have a friend do something at the wedding reception, but trust me, friends and family don’t want to be stuck doing a job and those that do tend to forget a lot during the evening.
Stick with a professional.
You need to have $XXXXX amount to have a great wedding.
Couples think they need to spend truck loads of money to have a great wedding day, well, thats further from the truth. In fact, Carole and I tend to enjoy the smaller weddings that are less than $10,000 than ones we do that cost $90,000+.
One thing I can tell you is that it’s not how much you spend, but it’s how you invest in the day that makes or break it. While money is important for grabbing great vendors for your big day, it’s not the end-all for having a fun, great wedding.
Our advice is to create the overall budget and stick with it. If you don’t know how to create a wedding budget, use this online wedding budget tool we created to start.
Your overall budget is your bible to keeping things on track.
What everyone is paying for their wedding XXXXX.
Here’s the thing, what works fro everyone else, may or may NOT work for you for your wedding day.
Your budget will determine how much you can spend on your wedding day and asking people on social media who they used for a vendor type, we’ll thats just stupid.
Here’s why.
“What’s everyone paying for their luxury car to get them from point A to B?”
Well, luxury is a term that is used for high-end, but do you need a high-end vendor to have the wedding?
No, you don’t. Most times you need a good professional thats more of an everyday vendor and thats perfectly okay.
A $5,000 car and a $40,000 are very different in terms of quality, luxury and style, not to mention value.
Think of your wedding as the same way.
Ask yourself if you truly need to spend far more on that vendor type or if you can use more of the industry standard price for them.
Wedding shopping is a lot of fun, but the more you let your emotions take over your pocketbook, the more you tend to lose from it, so stay focused on the task at hand. You don’t need to buy a low end vendor, but you also don’t need to buy a top-tier vendor if you’re budget doesn’t call for it.
Everything MUST be perfect for my wedding.
I’ve been in the wedding industry going on 23 years now.
With more than 550 weddings in my career, not a single wedding was perfect. Not the $150,000 weddings I’ve done, not the backyard BBQ weddings either.
There will always be something that just doesn’t go according to plan, so stop being worried about every small detail. Wedding professionals, the people you hired to take on your event will be able to help you along the way, you just need to trust them, that’s part of what paying a professional is for to begin with, their experience.
The more experience they have, the better they are able to help correct mistakes at the wedding day and treat them as if it was something that was supposed to happen.
Just know that no matter how much you plan, there will be something that goes wonky, maybe it’s something small like the ring bearer eating rocks as he sits in the mud while you’re saying your vows (yeah, that happened over the weekend), maybe you get snow on your wedding day and have to reschedule it or maybe something happens out of order. Just enjoy the day and roll with the fun, that’s part of having a great wedding, being able to just laugh and enjoy the day!
You'll be BFF with your vendors.
Couples sometimes think that when they hire a vendor, they suddenly have a best friend. While it’s true to a point that we become friends with many of our couples and follow them along for years via social media, most times becoming best friends isn’t one of them.
You want to treat your vendors like a guest at the wedding when it comes to regards dinner service and the like, but know that we’re not here for dancing, partying and drinking the night away with you either.
I’ve seen so many ‘professionals’ over-the-years try to act like they are best friends with their clients and after the wedding day, it’s honestly embarrassing.
Make sure there is a fine-line when hiring a professional vs. trying to become best friends forever.
You'll cry when you put on your wedding dress of walk down the aisle.
You may cry when you first see each other and you may be overwhelmed with emotion, but truth be told, most couples don’t and thats perfectly okay too. When you walk down the aisle, you’re more worried about not tripping on the ground than you are thinking about the person that you’re going to marry in the moment.
It’s perfectly fine to be emotional and it’s perfectly fine if you’re not.
The best piece of advice I can provide for all couples getting married is this.
“There is no right way or wrong way to have a wedding. Every wedding is completely different with different costs, different sizes, different things happening within them and that makes your wedding unique and special within it’s own right.”
Don’t worry if you don’t have something that you think people will complain about, it’s your wedding, your friends and family are there for you, not happy hour and 29 types of beer you wished you ad at the bar.