As a wedding professional, I often times will reach out to couples all across the US and ask them different things to help provide me with information about what is important to them.

This time I asked couples what were some of the biggest struggles they faced while planning the wedding and today, we’ll go over some of the top issues and how best to over come them.

Of the 208 comments we received within 19 hours of making the post we got a good break down of what is on couples minds and they include COVID, paying for the wedding, dealing with friends and family and so on.

Take a look at the break down here.

Struggle Breakdown

Money Issues and the Wedding Budget

By far, money is still the biggest concern among couples when it comes to weddings. From this category these were the top talked about issues with money:

Being able to afford weddings
Weddings are expensive
Keep adding things to the wedding which make it go over budget
Going over budget

Hey, I completely understand.

As a vendors I can tell you that weddings come with a cost because couples demand a lot from vendors and from our point-of-view, its cost us a lot to operate.

Take our business for a moment, we have more than $20,000 invested in gear in order to make good videos and photos for couples, we have to pass some of that along to the couples we work with. Additionally, it’s time.

“The number one thing that couples don’t think about with wedding vendors is how much time they spend before or after the wedding.”

Take wedding photographers for example. While couples have this-mindset of paying them based on the number of hours they will be at the wedding, they are forgetting the prep time and the post-production time which easily is double, triple or in some cased quadruple their on-site wedding time.

Being Able to Afford Weddings

First, you need an overall wedding budget, something I’ve talked about many times here.

The BEST way to be able to afford your wedding is first determine how much you want to spend overall, break that down and then figure out how long you will need to work on paying that off.

Carole, my wife and amazing photographer, developed an app that can help give you a ballpark idea of what you should be spending.

While we are a Roanoke Wedding Photographer and Videographer, this app should give you a general starting point and idea of how much you can spend per each major category within your part of the US.

Weddings are Expensive

If being able to pay for your wedding is a struggle in general, you do have a couple of options.

First, I suggest that you get a part-time job in order to help pay for your wedding. Many couples will take on short-term, part-time jobs like pizza delivery, newspaper delivery or jobs where you can work from home and make $15 an hour.

If taking on additional work isn’t possible, then consider living off one income and using the other to cover the cost of the wedding. Many couples opt for this solution while moving in together and getting everything together for the wedding.

Another tip we suggest is to find vendors (like us) that offer payment plans. Being able to eat $140 a month for example is better than coughing up 50% or more.

Finally, seek out wedding vendors that fit with a small range of your budget from above. For example, if the venue budget cost is $2,500, seek those that are $2,300-$2,700.

Adding More to the Wedding

I can tell you that you shouldn’t keep adding to the wedding budget once you’ve set your minds on it. That create a moving target for your pocketbook and not only will you go over budget, you won’t realize how much over you went until long after the wedding to begin with.

Whatever, the case, if it’s not in your original budget, don’t add to it.

COVID-19 is still a Big Concern

Corona-virus is still a concern among couples all across the US and its mostly those “what-if’ situations. Mostly, couples are concerned about the following:

Being able to have the wedding
Guest Size Limitations
Rescheduling, again
Fear vendors will go out of business

Well, as a vendor thats been through this, I can tell you a couple of things. First, you’ll be able to have your wedding, it may be different than what you dreamed of, but you’ll still have it.

“Let' me ask you this, is it more important to have a large wedding or to get married? “

That’s a hard question to answer, but truthfully if you peel away all those layers, getting married is more important than having some over-the-top wedding day. Carole and I have been through some weddings this year where the guest size was smaller, people wore masks and they had to distance themselves too.

BUT, they still had weddings thats the important thing to remember.

Guest Size Issues

COVID has made a huge mess within the wedding industry as just about every other industry, but something to know is that guests, even if they are allowed to come, may not.

There are still lots of people that don’t want to socialize and have weak immune systems, they just won’t risk coming, so be aware of that. It’s not you, it’s them and wanting to be safe than sorry.

One thing that we’ve helped with is being able to live stream wedding ceremony for our clients this year, while still not in person, at least they’ll be able to see and hear the wedding ceremony in real time and thats important for couples.

So ask your wedding photographer or videographer about this as an option for your wedding day.

Reschedule your wedding, again

I will tell you that you should have a backup plan should things get worse before they get better into the 2021 year. Many couples the first half of 2020 had to either push the wedding to the fall of this year or into the Spring of 2021, that hurts the couples getting married, couples looking to get married next year and us vendors too.

But, talk with your vendors about having a backup plan and be able to firm up that backup plan within 45-30 days before the wedding if you feel like things will not happen. If your wedding vendors are kept in the loop, it’ll be much easier for you to have them change at the last minute.

Vendor No Shows or Going Out of Business

Truth be told, I’ve seen a lot of people go out of business this year in the wedding industry. I saw the same thing after 9/11 for the 2002 year and again the same thing in the house market bubble of 2008 in the 2009 year.

There is a way to keep tabs on your vendor and it’s easy, just email wedding vendors once a month and check in with them. Make sure they’re doing good and the vendors should do the same to you.

Our clients for example will connect with me or Carole about every 30-45 days and we welcome it.

For those that have the fear in the back of their head that a vendor could close up shop because of COVID, get wedding insurance. It’s cheap compared to not having it and it’s useful in case you need to find another vendor last minute.

43% of couples rescheduled their wedding in 2020 due to COVID-19..png

The In-Laws and Moms

Ah, in-laws and moms. They want the best of your wedding day. but they may not always have YOUR best interest in mind.

Roughly 23% of those asked said that in-laws were driving them crazy or that their own mom was trying to control everything.

Hey, as a vendor, I see clearly when the wedding is all about mom and not so much for the couple getting married, of the 500 some odd weddings we’ve done, about 5% of those were for the in-laws or mother.

There are a couple of things you can do however to help circumvent issues with the in-laws or moms and let me provide it to you.

First, keep them out of the wedding plans if all possible. They may entice you by wanting to pay for things at the wedding but many times, they get into it and start to take over things.

“My point is this, it’s YOUR wedding, do things the way YOU want too and keep family on both sides of the aisle out of the decision making process.”

Second, lay down the groundwork for both families, if you wants help from them, ask them, otherwise they need to both know upfront this is about you and your spouse and not them.

Many times, spiteful in-laws will try to do more harm than good because they don’t have a good relationship with you and moms, well, they want to try and do-do-do everything for the wedding if you’d let them.

Lack of Time and Communication Issues

Couples with a lack of time to prepare are in two categories, those that literally don’t have time to plan the wedding or those that set an unrealistic wedding date too close to the current one.

In either case, you need to carve out time specifically each week to work on the wedding and as time gets closer, devote more time each week.

You will need to ramp up time because you’ll be more vested in it each week.

Time each week planning

At first, you’ll only be spending about 4-6% of your time planning things out, but as time gets closer, you’ll be spending upwards of 30-35% of your time each week working on the wedding according to national stats from The Wedding Report.

Communication Issues

It could be from the soon-to-be spouse, perhaps vendors or a combination of both, it’s important to make good communication to everyone involved in the wedding process so everything happens right and everyone knows whats taking place, no two weddings are alike, trust me.

For your future spouse, especially men that try to take a back seat, get them involved and let them help plan out the wedding reception, music, where people will sit, what will take place and the like too. Giving guys tasks can help build interest instead of just asking about a decision.

Think active instead of passive.

For vendors, if they are not responding in a timely manner, light a fire under them, money or lack-there of. Money talks, so if a vendor isn’t responding back and you still owe them money, ask a simple money question in addition to others that you have.

It’s a simple tacit that works very well.

For example you can say something like this:

“Hello XYZ,
I was wondering about the reception as were thinking about doing a second first dance and we need your input about that. Also, did we owe you part of the balance this month, I can’t remember, but let me know and I will send it over to you.”

If you’re doing a 50% balance, ask about when thats due, but basically tie the email to money you still owe them. If they read it, they’ll respond to you asap and open up a dialog.

The more you communicate to those involved, the better things will be at wedding day.

Educate Yourself as Much As Possible

Finally, friends, educate yourself as much as you can about the wedding process, it’s an important key in getting through this complex process and also, ask for help with your vendors.

Many times, I have clients that ask unrelated questions about the wedding industry or I’ll have them ask about what they should be doing or looking for with their own wedding plans.